Loves Taken Over

So I've only ever been in love once before and I'm not sure that was real but I'm in love now and its real. When I'm with him people stop and stare and tell me how great we are together. Its so obvious that everyone around us can tell.
I remember being exhausted after a 12hr trip on different planes to get to him. I took a shower tied my hair up and went to bed and he watched Sunday night football.I was sleeping and woke up cause I felt him staring at me. When I looked at him the look in his eyes were so telling of his feelings that no words were needed. That's the moment I knew it was real. They say every couple has that one moment when you know you've found the one. The moment you want to live in forever and never end. I believe that was our moment. Me in my pink durag sleeping and the look in his eyes when I looked up at him. When I catch him looking at me with that look in his eyes it sends chills up my spine every time.
Its so hard being so far away sometimes...well all the time. Neither of us are what you call very emotionally expressive people. I'm working on this and make conscious effort to tell him my feelings. Its hard to know where u stand when you're dealing with someone like this. Its very hard to feel secure. I struggled with this until recently. I realize now that my insecurities were in fact not him at all. My insecurities were me. I really wanted any excuse to run the opposite way and not feel. Not feeling means not getting hurt. I think that's natural to feel that way after you have been hurt alot. When I sit and think about it I have no reason to feel insecure in the relationship if anything I should feel very secure. Everybody loves different and just because they don't love like you do doesn't mean they don't love. I realize I can come off as cold, distant inconsiderate and as if I don't care when I really do. I realize this and try to vocalize it because if I don't say it my actions may not always show it. On the other hand he has done nothing but show me where I stand with him and let me completely in his life in all areas. I was indeed tripping.

Love is not an emotion love is in fact a choice. Just like you choose to love someone when they are making you feel great, when loving them is easy. You have to choose to love that person when they are unlovable and at their worst. Loving someone when they are at their worst is no easy task. That's the hard part of loving someone. That's the part where people give up and walk away. Love is something you give freely and not for it to be reciprocated back.
Ive decided to stop tripping and let it be.