The Flowers

"Now we're just a memory and its hard the think about it. About the love I left behind I cant help but think what could I have done about it. But deep inside I know its your fault that im not there. Once you put aside your pride I know you saw it so clearly that youre nearly losing your mind tryna remind through what you did and didnt do. So im telling you, you shoulda did so much more to show you love me.
Im wishing you woulda gave me the flowers when I could smell them and im wishing you woulda held me for hours when I was around. Now theres nothing you can do but to wish I was with you. But its too little to late, to late to press rewind to go back in time. Theres nothing you can do im no longer missing you. You shoulda gave me the flowers when I could smell them cause now im gone."

Its crazy cause it seems like alot of men I dealt with in the past all wanna come back at the same time. The thing is im not in the least bit interested. After I get over it im over it and I dont backslide. Ive only ever done the back slide once and that was the man I married so that proves that I shoulda never violated the no backslide rule since that shit didnt work out. I dont regret it I got my beautiful little boys out the deal and also the lesson that I dont backslide.

I was most recently in a relationship with a man for a year. It was a LDR and it only became a problem when I realized I was putting in all the work in the relationship. I really did believe I loved him but maybe in hindsight I didnt. Leaving him and putting myself first was so easy and almost completely painless.

The whole situation was ridiculous I feel as if I wasted a year of my life. He could tell me how much he loved me all day but when it came time to show and prove he always had some excuse why he couldnt. He used his mother alot of the time and thats when he did feel like offering up an excuse.

I dealt with it because coming out of the marriage I was in and the horrible relationship with the rebound guy who was worse than my exhusband he wasnt that bad. It was like ok so he never does what he says hes gonna do but atleast he doesnt talk bad to me or put his hands on me. Then it dawned on me one day that no he wasnt right breaking all the promises he made and I got over it and over him. I told him I felt like he would never have a real life as long as he took care of him mom and I wasnt gonna make him choose so I chose for me and chose myself.

Now he talkin about moving here and wants to see me when he gets to town. I really dont know how to feel about this because I cant offer anything more than my friendship. Ive moved on and im happy with someone else and even if that wasnt the case I dont backslide.

The sayings go you dont know what you got till its gone and you never miss your water till your well runs dry. Im not saying that Im perfect in relationships but you can ask any one of my ex's including my exhusband and they will probably tell you my little quirks were nothing compared to what it could be and has been with other women.

When you have someone who really loves you and you really love them, make sure you treat them right or someone else will and you will regret that you didnt.