You are what you attract

For some reason there was something very similar in the men that I seemed to attract. For some reason I kept attracting controlling and dominating men and getting into relationships with them. I do like a take charge kind of man but these men wanted to take charge of me and my life. There was the one guy who didn’t want me to dress nice get my hair done or wear make up. He told me he just like the natural me. Really he didnt want me to be attractive to other men.
My ex-husband wanted to pick out my friends who I could and could not hang out with. Convinced me that everyone was out to hurt me. According to him even my family was out to hurt me and it was his job to protect me from that. Truth is he was no good for me and was scared some of my friends would eventually make me see that.
Even though I met the last guy I dealt with singing background vocals on some of his tracks he claimed the only reason other artist were calling me was not really for background vocals and guestspots but to try and sleep with me. Now I know the truth is I was a better artist, a better writer and more creative than he is and he was jealous. Looking back I can see these things really clearly.
Yeah I kept attracting the same kind of guy so I had to look within myself to find out what the problem was. I suffered from low self esteem and didn’t even realize it. Yeah people always said I was pretty but I didn’t think so and I had always been successful in school but I didn’t attribute that to being smart I just worked hard. My mother used to break me down because she didnt know any better. Her mother used to break her down as well. My self esteem issues were the result of the generational curse but that’s another discussion for another day.
Women who suffer from low self esteem attract a certain type of man. Men with low self esteem. Those kind of men prey on women like that. Women with low self esteem are easily controlled because we are looking to someone else to make us feel worthy. Men who fall into this category like that because it makes them feel big to make us feel small. You will never see this kind of man hit another man.
So if u are dealing with a man who is beating you, cheating on you, isolating you and just controlling you that’s not a real man but a scared little boy in grown men clothing and you should run away as fast as you can. He has deep rooted issues that you cannot fix and will do you more harm than good.
If you don’t learn to love yourself for who you are no one else is going to and you will continue to attract the thugs and creeps. It took a lot of prayer and crying and talking to for me to get to where I am now. Now that I realize I am worth my twice my weight in gold and then some. The odds of that happening to me again is very low.