On Christmas I had 2 missed calls from my ex. One at 3:04am and the other at 3:22am. I had deleted his number from my phone, but visual voicemail sent me a text message with his name saying I missed 2 calls from him. I called back, no answer so I text him and say if you need to call I'm up. He text me back saying he didn't mean to call me and it was a buttdial. Bullshit on the play right? 2 calls and twenty minutes apart? Everybody knows u only ass dial the last number you called or one on speed dial and also you cant butt dial on a touchscreen. I have a touchscreen myself. He then takes to twitter to discuss it only to be met by my baby sister in my head Najla who basically calls the bullshit on the play. He wanted to tell her why we broke up but she really wasn't interested in hearing the story. She and I had the most epic bbm chat while all this went on. She said niggas shouldnt get drunk and listen to Drake on Christmas.
I was told the next day he referred to me as the devil and said I was running around telling lies and how he never set out to do me wrong, yet he had prepared to go to war but changed his mind and was gonna let it go.
I honestly thought that Christmas phone call was gonna be an apology for the 5 day twitter rant and 6 page blog he wrote about me.
I'm gonna be honest that rant and blog hurt....a lot. I don't see how you do something like that to someone and then say you never set out to hurt them. I felt like he had been planning to do that and just needed the right reason to do it. He claimed I was bitter over our break up and set out against him with the radio show we ran together. Baically what happened is he got a big ego and alienated the people we worked with. They came to me with their complaints and I sent him an emailing detailing who said what. He immediately takes to twitter to talk about this evil email I sent and how bitter I was and the email was bitter. He posted the email I sent him on his blog and people have came back and said they couldn't find the bitter part in it.
Truth is by the time all of this went down and the email was sent I was more than good with the break up and really interested in someone else.
We broke up on a Thursday and that Friday I was out with someone else. If you follow me on twitter you saw "Novacane tweets" a lot. That's what he was, he numbed the pain. I don't know if it was because I was hurting but that was hands down the best sexual experience I have had to date and it definitely numbed the pain. As my ex was getting up to go to his mothers funeral I was barely getting out of Novacane's bed. I know its tacky but its the Virgo way. I believe our emotions are tied to sex and the best way to get over one man is to get under another. The more I slept with Novacane the less the breakup hurt. Don't worry Novacane is someone I have known for a while and definitely not a random. He's actually a good friend but that's another blog.
The situation with my ex got real sticky because I slept with him after we agreed to remain friends. The things that he said that night left me feeling confused the morning after and I felt like shit. The main thing that fucked me up was him saying "maybe this isnt goodbye, maybe we'll find our way back to each other". I knew it was over between us and immediately regretted that encounter.
So fast forward to the rant and the blog. I didn't read the blog because I knew it would anger me, but I was told what was in it. It was also brought to my attention any and everybody who would listen has heard all kinds of personal details of our relationship and break up.
I'm not gonna address what was said by him. We all know hurt people hurt people. He and I know the truth behind why we really broke up and we both know the truth behind our relationship and that's good enough for me. I know he thinks I'm talking about him but he's getting his info from a woman I was friends with who is mad because I talked to a man she was into. The deal behind that is she introduced him to me as her friend and he and I were attracted and hes the real reason I spent Halloween weekend in Atlanta. It later came out she liked the guy after he and I were already into eachother. So if my ex is not smart enough to figure out there is a reason someone who was once so close to me is set out to tell him my business now and wants to believe it that's on him.
Like I said hurt people hurt people. He lost his mom, his dad and his cousin and we broke up all in a short period of time and that has to be hard.
When I said I hoped his rant and his blog gave him closure I meant that, however I dont think it did. It did initially hurt that he would go to those extremes and if hurting me was the intention mission accomplished but im over it and im over him. I forgive him for everything. The breakup and everything that came after. Life is too short to hold grudges and be bitter. Im into someone else and I dont want him to pay for the mistakes of my ex so I have no choice but to forgive if I want to see a future with someone else.
As far as my ex goes I pray that he finds his peace and is able to move on. I also pray that he sees the people he considers friends arent his friends. Several of his so called friends have came at me with offers to fly me out because they wanna spend time with me. At the end of the day they read the blog and rant and said "he really loved her and I wanna fuck her so I can rub his face in it" I dont hate my ex and I love myself too much to play into that. I've moved on and I pray one day he does as well. The war he was prepared to go to was a war he started when he wrote the blog and the rant. Though I could totally go there with him, why air the dirty laundry of our breakup? I'm just not bitter enough to go there. For those who wonder why I dont speak out and address him, well thats too easy. It didnt work out and we're not gonna get back together. War with him proves nothing. Its better to just forgive...
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