Back Down Memory Lane

I swear Jessica and I have some crazy conversations. Just the other day we were discussing mattresses. As you know I'm gearing up for a move. I told her I'm trashing my mattress and my bed and getting new. No way I'm sleeping with my boyfriend in a bed that I've smashed others in. Especially when I chose to pretend his sex life prior to me doesn't exist I don't want him haunted by ghost of jump offs past. Jessica just purchased a new mattress and said shes feeling particular about who smashes on it as well. We refer to it as a virginal mattress. The way we see it is those mattresses could be marital beds. I don't wanna sleep on a bed he screwed someone else in either. New beds should be purchased when u get serious lol

Weekend Love

I was chatting with someone on bbm with someone and the subject of weekend lovers came up somehow. He said weekend lovers suck cause sometimes you need attention during the week. I told him my boyfriend lives 600 miles away sometimes all we got is the weekend. We done somehow made this thing work for 8 months now. I don't know why that impresses people so much. Relationships are hard work but anything worth having is worth working for.
Its crazy cause everybody has something to say about the situation. How do you make it work? Are you guys faithful? Whats gonna happen when you move? Why cant you find someone in your city?

We make it work because this is what we want. He deals with the separation differently than I do. I have my kids to occupy my time and he doesn't have that. The idea of missing me is hard for him and he doesn't allow himself to think about it. Sometimes he doesn't give as much as I would like but he is himself I accept that. Besides I'm not clingy or needy. Whats important is I know if I need him hes gonna be there for me.
Are we faithful? Absolutely. Funny thing is when we met I was seeing someone who lived up the street from me. It wasn't serious but definitely heading there. He was gonna be an out of town fling. I broke it off with the guy who lived up the street to be with him. So I had a guy up the street, I could see whenever and I cheated. I have a man who lives 640 miles away and the thought of cheating never crosses my mind. I could but I wouldn't because I believe hes the one. Do I think he cheats on me? Not at all. I trust him. If I didn't trust him we woulda never made it this far. Besides hes been there done that and hes ready to settle down as well.
When I move we are definitely not living together at first for a lot of reasons. I love my space and so does he. I love the feeling of the newness of it all. The way he blushes when I look at him and I still smile at just the thought of him. I'm not ready to give that feeling up yet. Relationships get old fast once you start playing house. I remember going to see him and spending 12hours on planes and in airports being pissed off when I finally landed and looking at him and instantly getting over it. He has that affect on me. When I look at him or hear his voice everything is ok.
True I could find someone in my city and closer to my age but I don't want to. I want him. I think hes the one. I do turn down men in my city everyday. There is someone who has been after me and says "don't cheat yourself treat yourself" cheating myself would be cheating on him. That's why its so easy to say naw I'm good.

Control part1

I was left seething today because of an incident involving my mother and my sister. My mother often butts in and meddles with my parenting style in front of my kids which I find highly inappropriate. She accuses me of treating my 2 kids differently alot. She's right about that I do. They are two different people so I respect their individuality and treat them accordingly. I don't love one more than the other I just love them differently.
I took my kids to visit her today because she complains if I don't bring them over. I can count on one hand how many times she has come to my place to see them but that's a different blog for a different day. When we walked in she had cooked and my son said he was hungry. He wasn't really hungry but kids always say stuff like that. She fixes him a plate. Then she pulls out something to give my other son. I asked her not to give it to him because I was fixing spaghetti at my house for dinner. My mother ignored me and gave it to him anyway. At this point my son admits he didn't want to eat his plate so I made him eat it. I stood over him and fed it to him. Derek has aspergers and some days he doesn't want to eat. I don't let him starve and there have been many days I have had to stand and make him eat. No big deal to us. My mother didn't like it and first she says "you didn't make Donovan eat it" This is her attempt to say I love Donovan more than Derek. I told her I didn't have to make Donovan eat because she gave Donovan something I said he couldn't have and under minded my authority. At this point she had nothing to say and comes back with "I don't wanna watch u force feed him so take him home"
A discussion in which I tell her how I parent my kids is none of her business. It really isn't any of her business. I could see if my kids were in danger or neglected but they aren't. Aside of typical little boys stuff I have really good kids. If my parenting wasn't up to parr they wouldn't be so good. Everywhere I go people tell me how good my kids are. My mother essentially said since she cant butt in and tell me how to raise my kids then to take them home and not bring them back. I think thats unfair to my boys. I dont like their daddy much and I never keep them from him. I know she was mad and frustrated when she said it but it should had never been said. The whole situation is completely inappropriate.
My sister doesn't like the discussion because my mom is dead wrong and cant win this one. She decides to butt in. We had a huge fight in 2009 where she picked a fight with me and she didn't win. We have not spoken since even though I did buy her a gift that year. So until today we ain't spoke at all. She then tells me that I abuse my kids and she was gonna call CPS to have them taken away. That's when I lost it. She is 25, lives at home and cannot take care of herself yet she wanna pass judgement on me. She works everyday, sees my mother struggling and doesn't even offer to pay a bill. I'm beyond mad and threaten to whoop her ass like I did 2 years ago at which point she picks up her phone and threatens to call the police.
Those who know me know I'm a pretty laid back and even tempered chick. Her saying she wanted to get my kids taken away from me she went entirely too far.
When is it acceptable for someone who doesn't have kids to pass judgement on the way one raises their kids? When is it acceptable for anyone to butt in?

My All

I'm a Virgo as those of you have been following this blog know. Virgo's are highly emotional people but only inside. On the exterior we do come off cold and heartless. When a Virgo loves you we love you with everything we have in us and we will give you the world. We just do not like to be in our emotions. I admit I get super sensitive when I PMS. I always say I'm an emotional PMSer but other than that you will never see that side of me.
I usually show my love to those around me by fixing their lives problems and making sure they are happy and taken care of. That's just me and its how I operate. Its how I show my love. Those small details that have been over looked a million times before by others in the past I see them.
I recently had a discussion with my man where I had to let him know the things I do for him are not to make him like me more but because if I see something that's making him feel off balance and I can fix it then its in my nature to do so. By me taking the initiative to do so that's one less thing he has to worry about. Hes happier and him being happier makes me happy. I think that's the reason why we actually work. Hes a Leo and we are supposed to be incompatible, but my need and desire for order in my life and wanting to give it to him as well is what makes us work.
I love when I'm in a position where I can bring order in someone elses life. I need order in my life and creating it for those I love makes me feel balanced. This would explain why I love being a mommy so much and also why I have chosen to go into nursing.

For The Record

My love and I have gone round and round about whether to let the public know we are an item. I say yes why hide it and he says no because he feels like folks meddling in the situation could come between us. I always said they could only do that if we let them. I'm beginning to see his point. I completely trust him and I know he doesn't deny our relationship if questioned about it and I know he wants to be with me so that's not the issue.
I see his point because there are 2 people I follow on twitter. For a while all you saw between these two people was my husband this, my love that, support my mans project and my boo is hot. Here lately the NEVER tweet each other anymore. He did have alot of thirsty groupie chicks hanging on his every last tweet. She was constantly tweeting to remind others he had a girlfriend. I guess it got to be to much for them and they ended things. I see she is tweeting about wanting love like she was before. I don't know if they split up but I'm assuming they have. Guess she couldn't handle the thirstiness of his female followers. Sad thing is they were a long distance relationship and I'm sure they never even met in person.
I see my boos point of view about holding what we have sacred and protecting it from the outside world now. Seeing his point of view actually lets me know he cares way more than I even thought he did before. So if you follow me you see that I might tweet that we have hung out but I no longer refer to him as my man. Its just no ones business. We're still together and we're still happy but all anyone needs to know is neither of us is on the market anymore. If I feel the need to talk about him I always have my blogspot anyway :-)

Independent Women

I was engaging in a conversation yesterday about role reversal in today's relationships. Men who are soft, women are breadwinners and such. I blame Beyonce for this so-called independent woman movement. She preaches thru her music to young girls that you don't need a man for shit unless he can do something for you and also that the things he does for you are things you can do for yourself. My question is this....why even be with a man if you don't need him. While shes telling you to tell him "if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it" shes happily married to her prince charming.
I personally never could buy into all of that. I was raised in the south and I have traditional southern values. My parents were married for over 30 years before my father passed away. I prefer the traditional role in my relationship. He is the man and he wears the pants because I look better in a skirt anyway. Don't get me wrong I'm currently running my own household and I can do that on my own but whatever man comes into the picture I realize I'm gonna have to step down and let him take that role and follow his lead. I have no problem doing this, I want to do this. I could never be with a man who didn't know how to be a man. I would never respect him.
It says in the bible that a woman is her mans help mate. He who finds a wife finds a good thing. I doesn't say anywhere in there she who finds a husband or to run over top of him, dominate and emasculate him. Chilvary is not dead but why should he treat you like a lady when you wanna wear the pants?
This is just my point of view.